Ride To Die?

I ride a motorcycle. I used to ride quite a bit, but the more I rode, the less I wanted to. Riding a motorcycle can be a very liberating experience, but it is also a very exhausting one. I am never more aware as when I am on my bike, constantly surveying my surroundings and assuming I will get the worst of what every driver has to offer. I know a lot of people don't like motorcyclists, I'm not sure if it's because we get to places faster or we split lanes and interrupt your cell phone conversation with your friend Megan (without the 'h'). Whatever your reason for hating on us, please don't use your 4000 pound weapon of mass destruction to end our carefree lives. Our motto, "Live to Ride, Ride to Live" means that we want to live. I don't want to end up like all these riders, so please, look, look, and look again. We'll do our part and assume you won't look at all.

Suspect Was Driving a Dark Red Jeep

NORTH HOLLYWOOD, Nov. 11, 2007 (CNS) - Police Sunday sought the public's helping in locating a sports-utility vehicle involved in a felony hit-and-run traffic accident in North Hollywood that left a motorcyclist dead.

The sports utility vehicle involved in the crash was a dark red or possibly burgundy 2000 Jeep Grand Cherokee with fresh damage to its driver's side, including the loss of a panel, said Los Angeles police officer Virgil Castor of the Valley Traffic Division. The Jeep could be of more-recent vintage, he said.

The traffic accident occurred about midnight on Lankershim Boulevard, just north of Saticoy Street, said Los Angeles police Sgt. William McAllister.

The motorcyclist, a 27-year-old man, was going north on Lankershim Boulevard in the left lane as the sports utility was going in that same direction, but in the right lane, Castor said.

For some unknown reason, the motorist decided to make a U-turn, striking the motorcyclist, he said. The Jeep kept going south on Lankershim, then turned east on Saticoy Street.

The name of the motorcyclist will be released pending notification of next of kin, Castor said.

Anyone who may have witnessed the accident or knows the whereabouts of the Jeep Grand Cherokee was asked to the call the LAPD's Valley Traffic Division at (818) 756-8381.

The 'N' Word

No, it isn't a new TV show for the WB. On Friday, the Los Angeles city council voted to "ban"...well, symbolically ban, the use of the 'N' word. Whenever there is a vote to limit free speech I am all for it. Seriously, we do not need that word or many other words in our vocabulary (we really don't use that many anyway..albeit the "bad" seem to be well-used). We should take the lead of 14-year-old McKay Hatch who started the No Cussing Club in South Pasadena where the club's motto is, "Leave people better than you found them." Yeah! You need to commit like this member because she is destined to be the most polite little whore you will ever meet (talk to me in another 5 to 7 years). The NCC (No Cussing Club) has had a big enough impact that the South Pasadena City Council is/was considering a "no swearing ordinance". Right on! McKay Hatch for President!

Back in LA, Lamont Jordan had this to say when told he could no longer use the 'N' word, "Nigga, please!"

Bernard Parks, who introduced the resolution, says that the 'N' word "connotes a lazy person with no self respect or regard for family, a person who is ignorant, stupid, slow moving, does not speak proper English and has childlike qualities."

If this is the definition then we shouldn't be banning use of the word, instead we should be painting it on certain individual foreheads...starting with the leader of the free world, G. Dubya. Los Angeles has more pressing problems than its' citizens using the 'N' word. Problems like violence, pollution, and drunk-driving celebrities deserve some attention too.

The $20 Green Project

David Markland over at MetrobloggingLA has proposed a rather simple experimental project where all you have to do is spend $20. I have practically done this experiment every day while employed (spending twenty at Trader Joe's on dinner, cheese, and wine) and have learned that if you are creative enough (which I am not) and thrifty (which I could be) then $20 might be well spent.

With a well-worn Jackson in the pocket of my well-worn jeans I set out to try and buy as much crap as I could fit in the saddle-bags of my bicycle...also know as the bed of my Nissan Frontier. Listen, I like bicycles and I am all about the environment as long as I am not risking my neck. I used to live in Chicago and survived on public transportation, biking, and my own god-damn two feet, but I can't do it here. This is really a post for another time, but I ask you bicyclists; do you feel safe when you ride or are you just bracing yourself for that imminent fall to the concrete? I feel safe in my truck, but if I get the urge to bike I just head over to the gym for a spinning class (there's safety in stationary bikes).

Great. Now I have made myself feel like a total ass. It's Green Week on NBC and after watching The Office and Scrubs last night I should really be trying to do my part to help el enviromental. I got it! Internet shopping. I can stay right here at home and not burn a dime in gas, while still fulfilling my obligation to support the economy. What can I get a lot of for a little?

I search the internet using $20 as my keyword. I get a lot of results for Gifts Under $20. I notice ThinkGeek has a whole bunch of stuff for under $20 and I do enjoy me a gadget or two. I want bulk though. I want to feel like I robbed someone blind. I want to feel like...Porn! I can buy pay-per-view porn at one of several sites and still have a nickel to spare. I know this doesn't seem right to you, but if you look at it from an environmental stand point you'll see that 230 minutes of porn means that I have not wasted any gas nor am I buying something that is packaged. I will be only be using 4 hours of electricity to power my MacBook while expending the same amount of energy on myself burning extra calories.

Success!

One Way I Don't Want To Go

If I had a choice as to how I could die, I would choose a Vito Corleone exit. Old man playing with my grandson and then BAM! Heart attack. The best part; having that orange in my mouth trying to scare the little bastard. You see, I enjoy scaring people (probably a little too much), so it would only be fitting that instead of me giving someone else a heart attack, I give myself one.

Gabriel Gonzales-Ferrer, 24, of Orange was killed Wednesday after getting pulled into a wood chipper. Yeah, Fargo-esque, except it was the wood chipper that killed Gabriel. I don't know how the hell you fall into a wood chipper. My guess is that his clothing got caught on a branch or he reached in for some reason and... The worst part of all this is that the cop they interviewed on the news gave a little smirk when interviewed. Come on! It's not a joke unless it's on a late-night talk show and we all know that nobody's writing any material right now. People! Be careful! Wood chippers have been blamed for 3 deaths a year here in the USA.

Silverlake Vino Expando

Silverlake Wine will reopen their doors tonight after a makeover. They have supposedly lengthened the tasting bar to extend the whole side of the store. That is all they really needed to do because trying to get back to that corner for a taste and then back to your group of friends meant a ten to fifteen minute ordeal. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it there tonight, but I am thinking Blue Monday may be the perfect way to start the work week.

Observe At Your Own Pace

You no longer need reservations to visit the Griffth Park Observatory. And if that isn't news enough for you, more trails have been reopened! Things are finally getting back to normal...for here. I am looking forward to heading up the Observatory this weekend when demand for parking will be heaviest. Perhaps I will gather the posse and pull off a little Swingers-like scene. The best way to enjoy the view up there is to take your girl while she is wearing one of these, order a sandwich from The End of the Universe, and sit outside and enjoy the view.

You might be able to catch a glimpse of Comet John C Holmes this week/weekend.

Observe at these times:
Monday - Closed
Tuesday - 12pm-10pm
Wednesday - 12pm-10pm
Thursday - 12pm-10pm
Friday - 12pm-10pm
Saturday - 10am-10pm
Sunday - 10am-10pm

Get Back To Work (If That's What You Call It)

Attention WGA Writers:

You are not going to get what you want, so just go back to work. Even if you were to get what you want (I'm not saying you are going to), the money you are losing out on while walking these picket lines will never be recouped. You are not fighting for better conditions (you already sit in nice, but fake, Aeron chairs) and you already make a lot of money. I know, I know, it isn't fair that studios and production companies make all that cash. After all, it was YOUR idea that they invested their $100 million in and ended up making $50 million back. Oh wait. Ah yes, we have assumed that every movie/television show makes money, but I used the word 'invest' because this business is all about investments. For every hit there are ten, twenty, fifty flops, which as we all know are not good investments.

An idea is an investment. On a friend's advice (idea) I sold my 20 shares of Yahoo! stock (YHOO) to buy 15,000 shares of a penny stock. Unfortunately, the idea was a really bad one that just seemed good at the time and I lost all my money. I didn't go to my friend and say, "I want my money back because your idea sucked." I knew it was a risk, but sometimes these risks pay off. However, had I made a lot of money, I bet my friend would have asked me for his "fair share". Crazy how people don't want to take responsibility for bad ideas.

Go back to work. The studios/production companies already pay you a decent wage to let you be free with those ideas that they are willing to take the risk on. You're losing money now, money that won't make it back into your pocket no matter what the outcome is. On top of all that, LOTS of people are out of work because of your "fight". Do you really want to be responsible for dying babies? You don't care, do you? You just care about beating "the man". Shame on you. Shame on you for killing babies and kittens!

Kisses!

The Producer